It is time for Zorba to start meditating, and it is time for the people who are meditators not to allow themselves to escape from the world... Only in completion is there bliss. Only in completion have you come home.
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Where does the rainbow end, in your soul or on the horizon?
Subhuti asked: “Is perfect wisdom beyond thinking? Is it unimaginable and totally unique but nevertheless reaching the unreachable and attaining the unattainable?”
The Buddha replied: “Yes, Subhuti, it is exactly so. And why is perfect wisdom beyond thinking? It is because all its points of reference cannot be thought about but can be apprehended. One is the disappearance of the self-conscious person into pure presence. Another is the simple awakening to reality. Another is the knowing of the essenceless essence of all things of the world. And another is luminous knowledge that knows without a knower. None of these points can sustain ordinary thought because they are not objects or subjects. They can’t be imagined or touched or approached in any way by any ordinary mode of consciousness, therefore they are beyond thinking.”
The purpose of Life is to learn... all our experiences, our ways of seeing, thinking, the people we meet... We ourselves chose our destination, the roads to travel and every step gives us something to learn from..it is said that it is not the ‘end’-result that matters but all the actions we take to get there.. I agree,on the fact that the journey matters but I also believe we are working towards a goal and for me that is to find peace inside myself so that when I have found this i can pass it on to others.. and if we all succeed in doing so we will have the Peace and Oneness we all long for. In the meantime each step I take and every decision I make is part of my journey...
"Be still and Know" is a most powerful art of knowing the self and knowing the Creator, the 'I Am'. If one has never practiced silence, or stillness, when one is constantly busy with the busyness of the mind then one can only know the 'god created by man' and not the 'Creator who created man'.
When we do not take time for stillness we cannot experience God, for God is not a hypothesis, God is an experience, an experience to be lived, the ultimate experience of silence, beauty, bliss, and celebration.
Erase all the imprints Of your existence; Move But make no sound; Don’t disturb The universe of the leaves. Take off every thread From your body. Take off every thread Thread by thread. Take it off ever so carefully That you don’t touch anything. Now you are here Now you are not Remember not to disfigure The face of death With any wrinkle of life.
Life is not our business So much that we make it our business We suffer. Unless we make it our business We do not suffer from it at all When we are wakeful that life is suffering We never try to make it our business We never try to activate our blind ego; We are careful to reflect on ourselves We find problems on ourselves, not on others We resolve the problem by ourselves We observe true nature of all phenomena We realize the basic truth We know that everyone is the same We experience that hurting others is hurting one We become aware that infatuation is poisoning oneself We know that when we eat too much, we become obese and heavy We know that if we drink too much we become groggy and addicted If we are too much fond of women, we are captivated by them And we lose trust. We know that if we are attached too much to money We become a miser We realize that if we are too much proud, We become vain We understand that if we are too much intelligent, We become narrow sighted and unwise We observe that if we become too powerful, We become arrogant We see that if we are over protected, We become selfish How much we want to know the secrect of nature, It is impossible for us to fathom the size of space, It is impossible to know the beginning of life. We have to know that our consciousness is the last comer in the universe, We become aware that we are existing without our conscious recognition We do not breathe with our consciousness; We do not circulate blood with our voluntary muscles. We cannot control our digestive system; Much less control our urinary system. Even we cannot control our mind and consciousness; We cannot decide what we think and how we feel; All these brainwork goes on by themselves. Only thing under our control is a tiny bit of body and mind, superficial part of our daily preferences and selection. We are easily and often confused and frustrated feeling that things do not go well. We have to admit that the portion of our arbitration is very small. If we ignore this fact, we are totally lost. Still we become aware that we are alive and breathing. We have to admit that we are not living, but are enlivened by our breathing. Breathing existed prior to our consciousness and substantial body. Breathing is universal activity that truly initiates formation and disintegration. When we meditate focussing on our breaths Just breathing in and out, out and in Any time and place, with any postures and under any conditions Breaking through all the hindrances and disturbances Seeing true nature of ourselves as empty as space or energy When we are merely space and energy, We realize that nothing is either painful or comfortable All are the same taste and flavor All are the same substance and entity As it is coming and going We transcend small ego and substantial body to liberate us from the ignorance and limited knowledge, sensual pleasure and cowardly fear Just air is coming out and going out We manifest that we are tathagata, thus gone and thus come When we realize that life is tatha (thus), We see everything as it is; We realize that all are buddhas Buddhas are all All phenomena in the universe is just coming and going Appearing and disappearing No matter how they are favorable or unfavorable How much are they welcome or unwelcome All are the same and perfect As it is thus gone and thus come Tathagata and Tathagate When we see that everything does occur and banish at this moment When we hear that all things appear and disappear at this instant We are aware of that all lives are simply natural phenomena We understand that life is the universal truth Life is not under anybody’s arbitration or command Not the business of any gods or creators That we cannot decide anything as we wish It is simply matter of interaction Creating and annihilating at this instant However, they are minor or major; simple or complicated, The basic rule is the exchange of the constituents Transition and transformation of the forms and masses We know that our ego is only the inner entity of a matter That goes together with the entirety We know that our knowledge or experiences are a tiny bit of interaction We admit that our nervous system and brain is the recent production of universal interaction Thus we have to surrender us to the fact that all are Tathagata That all are buddhas and perfect No matter how, when, where under what condition they exist or non-exist Do not be stupid and ignorant Do not be confused and painful Do not doubt or suspect Just be ready to be annihilated under any circumstances or any occasion. Realizing and manifesting the ultimate rule of universe Otherwise we suffer We suffer We suffer There is no consolation There is neither goal nor conclusion. Just practice, meditate, and manifest the ultimate wisdom of Tathagata. Just achieve emptiness Just gain the liberation
When you are treated rudely, it is tempting to offer rudeness in return. But all that does is add more discord to your life. It is difficult to show genuine consideration toward someone who has been inconsiderate or disrespectful toward you. And yet, that is precisely the response that most powerfully advances your life. When you get yourself mired in fighting back against every perceived slight, you become a slave to the rude, destructive behavior of others. Choose instead to let it go, and then to rise above it. You don’t have to be snide, or vengeful or resentful. You can be better. Instead of being negatively controlled by your anger, be positively propelled by your highest dreams and visions. Let go of the silly, petty issues, and focus your energy on what’s truly meaningful and fulfilling to you. Be better, not out of arrogance or spite or pride, but out of the desire to bring your most positive possibilities to fruition. Transcend the frivolous drama, and take the high road to the fulfillment of your dreams.
Buddha is otherwise named “Tathagata” meaning “Thus-Come.” Also he is
called “Tathagate” (Thus-Gone). What has actually come and gone with the Buddha? It is breathing that has actually come and gone. One who thus breathes in and thus breathes out is the Buddha. Thus-Breathing is the Buddha.
Breathing is prior to our consciousness. Breathing is not carried on by either our volition or desire or consciousness; but it is done by itself. Autonomous nerve system is doing this free from mental confusion and physical hazards. The involuntary muscles are doing it, uncontrolled by the mental distraction or negligence. Even we are sleeping, eating, working, talking, driving, making fun, sick of stomach upset, depressed, addicted to narcotic, totally indulged in gambling, panicky with fire or earthquake, totally obsessed of pride and vanity, still the respiratory system is carrying on this task, otherwise we’ll die instantaneously. As the result, we have no idea about the importance and merit of practice of conscious breaths. If breaths are prior to our volition and consciousness, it is sure that breaths have significant role in our supernormal consciousness and transcendental realization, cultivating and developing neglected ability, immaculate quality, precise knowledge, and mysterious enlightenment that help us to achieve true unity with nature, immortal, and divinity, thus maintain and retain the most stable and solid, blissful and peaceful condition of life that we call, ”Celestial Abode” where there are neither isolation, frustration, confusion, or malfunction.
Breaths are the twilight zone to the unlimited and timeless space where all matter and phenomena perform and interact with one another to harmonize with eternal bliss and sacred comfort that we call nibbana. When we breathe with clear consciousness, we become aware of that the soothing unity, balance, and harmony among our body – physical reality, inner respiration, and pure mental states have been achieved to create indescribable joy and ease. First we become sure how we are breathing, whether our breaths are short, long, comfortable, uncomfortable, suppressing, panting, obscure, slacking, or stressful. When we are under the good condition observing and following certain method and rules of practice, we can continually achieve higher and higher levels of breathing. That is described as, “Seeing Breaths.”
The clear, distinct, joyous, and comfortable breaths are called, “entire body pervasive breaths,” and this is the immediate and evident consequence of the practice. This practice requires certain prerequisite conditions.
First of all a practitioner should have clear and urgent motivation which is the first priority in the life. This is the matter of, “right now.” This is the matter of “death or life.” This is the matter of “head burning,” the matter of “eye brow burning.” If you wish to practice, you have to seclude yourself from all family, friends, relationship, duty, obligation, or anything at all.
You’ll go to forest, wildernesses, mountains, under-a-tree, cave, empty-house, monastery, temple, or meditation hall. Do not take any friends, family, pets, books, jewelry, or decorative attires with you that are the objects of love and attachment. Be just a mendicant monk or a true recluse. Find a level and dry place to sit down. Sit down on the floor with a stable and solid crossed-legs, half- or full-lotus posture. Straighten your spine. Use a pillow or cushion that is proportioned to your physique. Properly raising the buttocks, you can naturally yet thoroughly straighten the lower back that is indispensable for “belly breathing” or “entire body pervasive breathing.” In full-lotus posture, you’ll place your right foot on your opposite femur; and your left foot on your right femur. Showing your soles upwards. The anklebones should be exactly placed on the femurs. The tips of the toes should be aligned with the outsides of the thighs. The hands should not separate from the belly, meeting thumbs being exactly positioned against the navel, and the right hand is resting on the left heel (sole), in turn, left palm is resting on the right palm, which is pressing the right thigh.
The crossing of the legs should be deep enough that the anklebones of the opposite legs, are securely resting on the femurs. If the crossings of the legs are not deep enough, maintaining the perfectly stretched lower back becomes very difficult, and the imperfect lower back position will fail the thorough breaths. The hands should be combined in mahamudra, which requires precise positioning of each finger: the middle sections of the middle fingers should exactly overlap each other; the thumbs support each other; the tips of them slightly touch one another neither too tight nor apart. So that upon looking down you will not see the middle fingers. This configuration of the hands and fingers is called “mahamudra” or “jhanamudra.” This is the sign of the perfect absorption. The meeting point of the thumbs are called “ekaggata (one-pointedness),” and which is the germ of jhana (absorption) that means there is jhana when it is existent, unless it is never germinated.
Close the lips and teeth together, keep the tongue up against the root of the upper teeth. Eyes are naturally opened neither too narrow nor too wide; the eyesight is cast 45 degrees downward. Thus set up mindfulness in front of you, as if you were watching yourself reflected on the mirror. Breathe in and out, and notice your breaths are long if they are so. Breathe in and out, and notice your breaths are short, if they are so. Breathe in and out perceiving the entire body with pure sensation and bliss. Breathe in and out calming down the breaths subtler and subtler. Be blissful, while you are breathing in and out. Be comfortable, while you are breathing in and out. Calm the breaths down subtler and subtler Just perceive the sensations, as they are pain, neutral, comfort, hot, cold, warm, cool, neutral, while you are breathing in and out.
Perceive the mental states, as they are lethargy, greed, resentment, restlessness, confusion; while you are breathing in and out. Gladden your mind by means of absorption, while you are breathing in and out. Be absorbed deeper and deeper in your breaths, while you are breathing in and out.
Liberate your mind from all distractions while breathing in and out
Observe impermanence of all things, while you are breathing in and out.
Observe dispassion of all attachment, while you are breathing in and out.
Observe cessation of all matter, while you are breathing in and out.
Observe relinquishment of all things, while you are breathing in and out.
To achieve this meditation, the difficult points are pain and worries as they are so in our general life. Especially, sitting in full-lotus is more than torture, severing your leg bones and trying your patience at any instance.
The ancient people were very strong at this point, they were ready to die for practice crushing their bones, tearing their sinews and muscles, and drying out their blood and sweat. However, it is not necessary to torture your self so much, because the practice could take four different postures: sitting, standing, walking, and lying down. This is the breathing meditation; therefore, actually postures are not important. Breathing with clear consciousness is the point. If you could maintain clear breaths, you can stand up from your sitting posture; you can walk around the meditation floor quietly and slowly maintaining the precise observation of your breaths; your can also lie down on the floor, couch, or bed properly resting your tired spine and legs. However, you should never be distracted to either good or bad ideas, emotions, or sensations.
Just realize that you are breathing; moreover, manifest it by yourself that what Buddha is, that Buddha is no more than “entire body pervasive breaths.” When we are obsessed of delusions and distractions to the ideas of good or bad, feelings of happiness or unhappiness, comfort or discomfort, we totally forget our breath, thus we are far fetched to the endless confusion losing original insight and comfort of life. However, if we could just focus and attain the perfect unity, balance, and harmony among the three faculties of our life: body, breaths, and consciousness on this instance, we’ll realize the highest bliss, comfort, knowledge, and life and which has no taste, no substance, no sensation, thus perfect beyond description. We merge respiration itself without any gross consciousness; just as they are thus coming and thus going.
The splendor of the tathagata Is the compassion that dwells At the center of all minds. The clothing of the tathagata Is the gentleness and patience That dwell in every mind. The seat of the tathagata Is the emptiness of all phenomena.
There is no bigger truth than the fact that until you are dependent on someone for any reason whatsoever - you can never be free. Freedom is freedom of space - your personal space which cannot be compromised at any price. It is the space you require to be yourself because in that space you will grow and your growth will further enhance your relationship because if there are no flowers blooming in your garden of growth - what will you offer from yourself after some time? All Changes - The only constant in the world is change. So for a relationship to remain attractive, spiritual growth is the only stimulus and spiritual growth means accepting that there is no other and you are your responsibility.
Wish for good luck, and you’ll likely end up disappointed. Make your own luck, and you’ll make it as good as you can imagine. Fulfillment does not just come to you out of nowhere. The fulfillment you experience in your life is the fulfillment you choose to create. It might be comforting to chalk up your failures to bad luck. However, it is much more empowering to quickly and eagerly accept responsibility for all your outcomes.
Sure, it is helpful to have outside factors working on your behalf. And the best way to make that happen is to get your own committed efforts working on your behalf. Let go of the notion that luck is something that randomly happens to you. Embrace the powerful reality that comes from making your own luck.
Nothing is going to magically bring an ideal life to you, and yet, the magic is there nonetheless. Because the magic is in you, and in your ability to make your life the way you want it to be.
Who would have expected that Self nature is fundamentally Complete in itself? Who would have expected that Self nature is fundamentally Immutable? Who would have expected that Self nature can create all things?
Mind has no color, Is neither long nor short, Doesn’t appear or disappear; It is free from both purity and impurity; It was never born and can never die; It is utterly serene. This is the form of our Original mind, Which is also our original body.
Know your mind as the sky; Allow everything to pass on through, The clouds, the lightning, the winds, All of it, even the blue itself. Don’t even get caught on the blue. See and hear whatever arises, But don’t grasp at anything. Don’t even get caught on the sky.
When you can listen to your thoughts without becoming lost in what you hear; when you can hear them without adding or subtracting, without editing; when you can remember the very worst without cringing, without even an eyeblink of the mind, it's then your life will turn.
When faced with an unexpected challenge it’s quite normal to feel some “negative” emotions like anger, grief, overwhelm or fear.The important thing is to allow yourself to feel them but not get stuck in them, otherwise you might miss the opportunity that’s surely going to come.
As the old saying goes, “Every cloud has a silver lining”, and it’s vital to our personal happiness to go looking for that lining. And the larger and more painful the challenge, the more you truly owe it to yourself to use the challenge to create the life you truly desire.
When you face a challenge, whether big or small, go looking for the opportunity that’s hidden within it.
Simple Empowerment Steps
Use the art of Surrender and trust that, in the whole grand scheme of life, the challenge is actually perfect.If it seems that life has taken something away from you, have faith that you’ll receive something even greater back. If you go looking for the bad, you’ll find it; if you go looking for the good, you’ll find it; so why not look for the good?
Ask yourself questions like, “How can I use this situation to benefit me?” and “How could this actually help me get what I want in life?”
Inspiration can come from the most unlikely of places! I created the Opportunity message last night after I found out yesterday that my hours at my part-time job have been cut back to only 6 hours a week.
I had a call from the boss to come and see him before I went home, and after I got off the phone I wondered if I’d be finding out I didn’t have a job anymore. I promised myself that whatever happened, I’d see it as perfect.
On my drive home I didn’t feel angry – for financial reasons the company needs to do it and I can understand that – however I did notice a fair bit of fear coming up. Fear because I’m not in the strongest of financial situations at the moment, and my wage, though not large to begin with, was my safety net, and now that’s been largely taken away. In spite of the fear (or maybe because of it), I stood in a place of surrender to the situation, and started looking at ways to make it work for me. I realised that I only need to sell 20 copies of my book a week to replace the wage I’ve lost. That’s very do-able, so will be my immediate focus – and I’ll finally be putting into action various ideas that have lain dormant for probably far too long!
I fully expect to look back and see this as a turning point for my business and my life – that it’s just the kick up the backside I needed to get on with creating the life I truly desire.Life has a funny way of pushing you along your path if you drag your heels for too long!!
And one final example about finding opportunity in challenge.The morning after I’d found out my friend, Greg, had died I woke up and couldn’t stop crying. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I heard in my head some words he’d emailed me a couple of months before, “Life is too short to wallow in self pity”. At that moment I made the decision I was going to look for every good thing I could find from Greg’s life and his death and I was going to be grateful. In other words, I went looking for the opportunity in the challenge. I don’t know if I’ve ever made a more important decision in my life!
By choosing to look for the opportunity I’ve remembered that the most important thing in my life is to simply be happy now, without needing a reason why.
By looking for the opportunity I’ve created and published my book. By looking for the opportunity I am now creating the life I truly want to live, not the one I think I should!
Greg’s death was one of the most painful experiences of my life, so I’ve made the commitment to myself to use it to make my life happier and more fulfilled.
I’m sure you’ve had your own equally painful challenges in life. You owe it to yourself to take those experiences and use them to your advantage – to create the life of love and joy you truly desire in your heart and soul!
We are forgetful creatures, yet our forgetfulness is not by accident, but by design.
For what would be the point to life if we had all the answers? If there were no mistakes or surprises? If we already knew it all?
There would be no wondrous journey of discover, and so much of the beauty we find in the world would not exist.
Like when you hear an exquisite piece of music for the first time and it just seems to transcend all Earthly bounds – taking you to a wondrous and beautiful place you hadn’t even imagined – and how no subsequent listening can ever quite compare to that first time when you were completely ignorant.
Newness, freshness, innocence, is all part of what brings great love and joy and beauty to life. It’s the unexpected adventure of imperfection which actually represents the perfect life.
Maybe you think to yourself, “I’m just human.”
And you’d be right…sort of. You are human. As am I. As is Nelson Mandela. As was Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. As was Siddhartha Gautama. As was Jesus Christ.
But there’s no “just” about it.
Jesus’ purpose here wasn’t to be worshipped after his death – to be held up as more than a man.
He came here to show us the truth of who we all are.
He came here to show us who we all can be; what we all can do.
We are all Human Beings.
Our failure is not in who we are. Our failure is only in forgetting the magnificence, beauty and power that lies within us all.
Our greatness doesn’t lie in skill, ability, talent or knowledge; it lies in belief and choice – no more, no less.
Remember well that…
“We are our choices” ~Jean-Paul Sartre
Belief and choice are the only things separating us from the likes of Jesus. The onlythings.
The brilliant thing is that whatever your beliefs and choices yesterday, today you can make new choices; today you can have new beliefs.
You can’t try to be happy. You can’t chase or pursue happiness, because it’s not something you can catch. You – or anyone or anything else – can’t make you happy. You can only be happy. And being only exists right now. True happiness is a state of being…actually our natural state of being – possibly better known (and less mis-understood) as joy. Joy is non-resistance; surrender to the perfection of the moment – whatever that moment is and however it feels.Joy requires nothing - no thing to be other than what it is – in order to exist. All joy needs is love, which is who we really are anyway. Joy is not a lack of “negative” emotion, it is a lack of resistance, as joy is embracing the fullness of life – the laughter AND the tears. Do we really want to live a sanatised, mono-chromatic life, bereft of its full spectrum of colours? I personally have created much unhappiness in my life “trying to be happy” and denying the “negative” emotions – attempting to push them away and make them wrong. When I remember that what I feel is not who I am – when I let my emotions just be without judgement and listen to the messages they hold for me – I miraculously find happiness even in the midst of what I’ve often labelled as negative. It’s in loving life - ALL of life…the light and the dark; the up and the down; the happy and the sad – that we actually find true happiness – the joy of life that actually is life. As someone once said, “The stars shine brightest when the night is darkest.” And all of it is life…just as you are. Don’t deny yourself and the world any of the life that you are. Just allow yourself to be that life, be that joy, whole and complete and perfect, just as you are.
The Universe will always provide, because the Universe always has. Has there ever been a point when the Universe has not provided? In truth No, because if that were the case you would not be here now. When you get the true sense of the magnitude of this you will be filled with awe and wonder - For I’m not simply talking about the Universe providing for you throughout your lifetime – though it has, else you would not be here now. I’m talking about during the lifetime of every one of your millions of ancestors, for whom the Universe provided so you can be here now. I’m talking about every process and every life form throughout evolution, for whom the Universe provided so you could be here now. I’m talking about the creation of life on Earth, for whom the Universe provided so you can be here now. I’m talking about the creation of our Solar System, the Sun, our Galaxy, the Stars, the entirety of the Universe itself, for whom the Universe provided so you could be here now. If the Universe has provided all of that which has gone before to enable you to be here now, don’t you think you can trust it to continue providing for you – regardless of how things may appear? The Universe will always provide, because that is what it does…that is what it is. For the Universe is Life – that is it’s very nature – and not for a single moment has it ever been, or will ever be, otherwise. If you can trust in nothing else, trust in that.
While words undoubtedly have power, all words are, by their very nature, limiting. As soon as words are thought or spoken they define something, and every definition must, by definition, limit what is being spoken of.
No words could ever truly convey love. A year could be spent and still the ultimate truth of love could not be completely and wholly defined. In fact it’s likely more could be conveyed about love in a single smile than in all the words ever spoken of it.
And so no words can ever describe who you really are, though they can point to it. Eckhart Tolle says that words are not the truth, though they can point to the truth.
Therefore it is not the truth to say that who you really are is perfection, unity, joy, peace, freedom and love, however it points to the truth if you choose to look.
There is nothing you need to do to be who you really are – you already are – you just need to be aware of it.
“Love and do what you will !”
I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail. The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before, But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much. I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone, But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win. I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin. I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.
If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true. Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!
This moment is the only moment we ever really have. It asks us to choose the view we have of the world, to see the beauty that is all around us that we so often overlook. It invites us to live from the heart a life that we love with all our soul.
Life is now. When you are present in the moment you are aware that neither the past nor the future exist except as constructs of the mind. All that truly exists is exactly what is right now. When you are present you can look past the voice in your head of ego and fear and be aware of the truth of your heart, the truth of your soul, the truth of your self.
Some people spend most of their lives ignoring their truth then wonder why they are not happy, fulfilled, at peace. For others something happens that awakens them to the fact that the secret to life is simply being present in the moment, being true to who they really are.
For me this awakening was caused by an event that was one of the most painful of my life. It was early March 2006 when Greg, one of my closest friends, died. There was no warning, he was simply gone.
I last saw Greg more than four months before he died. Not because I didn't want to, but because we both listened to the voice of ego and fear and kept faith in there being a tomorrow that never came. You see something happened and Greg stopped talking to me. I took Greg's silence to mean he didn't really care about our friendship, didn't really care about me. I wondered if we'd ever be friends again.
As time passed my hurt grew and with it so did my anger. I was angry at how he was treating me, angry at the pain I allowed it to cause me and angry at the power his silence held over me, as it seemed there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. In truth that last was what I was truly angry about - I was angry that I was powerless. So I gave up.
Just before Christmas Greg wrote to me saying he'd come to realise two things: "Life is too short to wallow in self pity... and good friends are too hard to come by to throw away at the first sign of trouble." He asked me to forgive him.
When I received that email I was over-joyed. I cried. I was happy. My heart said to write back and say, "Of course I forgive you!" My heart just wanted to see him again and have fun. My heart had already forgotten the last two months ever happened.
But I didn't listen to my heart. I listened instead to my self-righteous head that said he'd hurt me so he couldn't be let off lightly. I listened to my ego that said he needed to understand exactly how much pain he'd caused me. It was over 2 weeks before I replied and forgave him with a lecture.
To my pompous reply he generously wrote, "A second chance is probably more than I deserve but I am going to take it anyway. I have missed you." To which my heart shouted out, "I've missed you too!"
But I didn't listen.
A week later it was my Birthday, and when I thought to invite him my heart cried, "Yes!"
But I didn't listen.
Soon it was Australia Day and my heart suggested, "Meet up for a drink."
But I didn't listen.
Instead I listened to my head that said he should be the one to initiate our first meeting since he was the one to make the break. Instead I listened to my fear that said it would be difficult so I'd better wait until I'm ready.
As the weeks went by I gradually began to hear the words of my heart, and so realised how utterly stupid I was being. Finally I decided to organise to see him.
My self-righteousness was conquered but not my fear, so instead of picking up the phone I sent him an email. It was too little, too late, and two days later I found out Greg died before he ever read that email. My regrets almost killed me too.
"We do not regret the things we do; we regret the things we do not do." Like the saying, it was all the things I hadn't done that I regretted. All the little things that so often get over-looked and go unappreciated, yet in reality are the things bringing colour to life, making it so beautiful.
I regretted all the things I'd gathered to tell him, that now I never would. They weren't important in the larger sense, but they were the things friendships are built on. I regretted I hadn't heard him laugh one last time. And of course I regretted I'd never told him just how much I cared.
I realise now what I truly regret is not each specific action or inaction. What I truly regret is every time I shut out my heart's desire, listening instead to the voice in my head that kept on telling me what I should do, what was "right", not what I truly wanted. What I truly regret is letting fear, not my heart, control my life.
Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true", and this simple phrase is the key to life's ultimate joy. It is by not being true to my self that suffering has come into my life, not all the outside circumstances and people I have so often blamed.
I now know that the only real power we have is in honouring our own true self right now. Everything else is an illusion, as this moment is all we ever have, the only time we actually can live.
My wish is to simply share this experience in the hope that it makes a difference.
I know I have a lot more to learn in this life, though some of the things I've already worked out have made a huge difference to me – the top three being...
The time to be happy is now.
The key to happiness is being true to yourself – following your heart and doing what you love.
Trust that somehow everything is perfect. It may look like a complete mess now, but one day it will all make perfect sense. Have the faith to surrender to the perfection of what is.
1. Honour Yourself Have alignment between your thoughts, words and actions, and your heart/spirit.
2. Be Loving Give up judgement. Allow yourself to love without condition.
3. Be Loved Have faith that you are completely loved by every person, whatever their actions.
4. Be Authentic Be authentic in your communication. Give up attachment to the outcome.
5. Be Courageous Acknowledge your fear, then act.
6. Be Surrendered Give up believing something is wrong. Embrace the perfection of what is.
7. Be Present Give up trying to get somewhere. Be present and love what you’re doing right now.
8. Be Passionate Live your passion. Share your vision and enthusiasm with the world!
9. Be Appreciative Notice the beauty and wonder of the world and appreciate its presence in your life.
10. Be Joyous Smile! Laugh! Have fun! Be light-hearted and revel in the moment.
To the amazing person that you are, on this day I want you to know:
You are one-of-a-kind. ... Like no other being that has ever been or ever will be, And that’s something to celebrate, For the world is a different place because of you.
Did you know that your smile can change a day And your love can change a life?
In fact, every life you come in contact with you leave changed forever. The change may be big or it may be small, But their life will always be different because of you.
Never underestimate the little things in life – Their effect is far greater than you even suspect.
You are more powerful than you know, more loved than you feel, And of more value to others than you can guess.
Life is too short for self-pity and too long for blame.
Always remember that you are the source of love in your life, For love is who you truly are.
Regardless of whoever you’ve chosen to be in the past You can always choose to be something completely new in this moment.
And most importantly…
You do not need to be, do or have a single other thing in order to be perfect, Not even if it’s being happy, doing what you love or having your dream life, For you are perfect right now, just as you are.